#37 OREGON!

The last time I was in Oregon,  one Gerhart Horstmann, whom I did not know, gave me pit tickets to the Grateful Dead at the Hult Center.   I hitched up to Portland, then Seattle, and seven other Dead shows.  I returned last night to visit the Rose City Rebel Sangha, formerly Portland Dharma Punx. 

It seems that Rose City Sangha was at one time a subsidiary of Noah Levine's Dharma Punx, but his organization has since broken up due to his sexually inappropriate behavior.   His mentor Jack Kornfield at Spirit Rock has disavowed him.  Here is a fascinating article from 2019. 

Rose City retains an inclusive and edgy bent, which I experienced with the six other members I sat with.  I was warmly welcomed to be part of a 45 minute silent sit (after a few minutes of investigating the qualities of breath and body), followed by a shared reading and discussion from the free book Parami, Ways to Cross Life's Floods by Ajahn Sucitto.  

In our selection, it was perhaps not surprising that Sucitto covered the hindrances of attraction and repulsion, with examples of his own management of sexual desire.  He notes that although he has taken a vow of celibacy, his biology has 'not made that agreement,'  and so much 'bright watchfulness' is required: 

So the real issue is not one of being affected, but of the proliferating tendencies and assumptions of lust (or fear, irritation, guilt, etc.) that jump onto that affect. That is, there are latent tendencies in how the programmed mind forms our experience. These tendencies conjure up a blur of pleasure or apprehension or irritation. In that blur the mind believes that lasting pleasure, satisfaction, annihilation or damnation are just one step away. That’s the assumption called ignorance — it’s worth checking it out.

We then all shared some thoughts and experiences around truthfulness with self and others. A lot of our issues came up around work. I related the trouble I've had directly addressing my co workers around their lack of productivity, or I should say, my perception of that. I saw some of my defenses and fears which have led to my withdrawal.

It occurs to me that we always have a choice to take up the place of watchfulness instead of defense or attack, but it comes with a cost, which is our belief in ourselves as separate, permanent and satisfactory. All of my practice, all of my fellow practitioners, and every moment of letting go tell me that it is worth the trade.