#15 IOWA: Tornadoes and Cows with plenty of room

I am someone who is thinking they are not supposed to think.   That gentle suggestion from Chris, lay leader at the Des Moines Zen Center,  hit me like a snowball to the side of the head.   The Sunday program was from 8 to 10, and began with the common Zen rituals of drum, bell, and chanting.   They keep their online chant book handy so it was easy to follow along with the Heart Sutra.   Following a half hour of meditation and some bowing, Chris gave us an insightful talk. 

The Des Moines Zen Center is headed up by Reverend Eido Espe, Dharma heir to Shoken Winekoff Roshi, who himself was a student of Katagiri Roshi.    Back to the Dharma talk by Chris, which was a how-to on basic Zen meditation.   I've been struggling lately with letting go (I know, right?), and how, let's say, eating cookies in the kitchen at 11pm on a Saturday night is a really hard thing to let go of.  It would seem easier than a divorce or death of a loved one, and it is less painful, but even right in the midst of it with all the tools of insight and meditation at my disposal, I realized I can't do it.  

Chris mentioned that Zazen, or roughly, 'sitting meditation' is about letting the mind and body rest.  We usually chase thoughts, sounds and feelings, so why not let them rest.  As for breathing, he noted that we could follow our breathing, but in classic Zen fashion, we can ask, 'who's following?'  And that whole question, that little challenge in every Koan, is really, really deep.   It's not like a New Yorker cartoon.  Chris suggested we sit 'majestically' like a mountain, and that 'resting' might be sort of Newtonian, like an object at rest, not asleep.  

He pointed out how the Center, in the early days, had sat right through the emergency sirens as a tornado struck downtown Des Moines, emphasizing that meditation is certainly not about getting lost and ignoring life's urgencies.  He offered Suzuki Roshi's idea that the mind is a restless cow, and so what does it need?  Give it a lot of space.   I couldn't help but put the two ideas together in my head and I saw cows with a lot of space being sucked away by a twister. 

I loved the little group today. I was given a warm welcome.  Every one of my experiences at various meditation centers this year has been fruitful.  Am I closer to enlightenment?  Maybe it's not linear.  I was at the zoom funeral for Ron Denhardt, a dear teacher from the Cambridge Insight Meditation center yesterday.  A couple of years ago we were having breakfast and he said, "Let me ask you; do you think enlightenment takes a lot of time and practice or it can be here and now?"  I said I thought it took a long time and a lot of work.   He smiled, he accepted everything about me. 

Dogen says: 

“Life and death are of supreme importance. Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost. Each of us should strive to awaken. Awaken! Take heed, do not squander your life.”